Kill Tim Russert! (for BF2 fans)

Kai Enthusiast Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 210

I almost fell off of my chair laughing while reading this.

Quote:

What you are about to read is a culmination of anger in playing with people who punish me because of the mines I lay. People who shoot at me when I took “their” helicopter. People who sit in front of the plane I am in because it was “their” plane. And people who are not team players. This guy became the target of everything that built up inside me. It turned out to be one of the funniest experiences I have had in awhile.

While on the Dragon Valley map, I found myself playing the Type95 AA Vehicle. The last couple of games found me in the top three as far as score goes. As an engineer class, I stayed around the Chinese main base to protect the commander’s assets, and shoot down intruding enemy helicopters.

When everything looked clear, I would venture out on the hill and shoot at the Cobra attacking my teammates. I was racking in the kills, saving the commanders assets from destruction at the hands of Spec Ops, and following the commander’s orders exactly.

Then a guy joined my team whose game name is “TimRussert”. He gets into a stinger and proceeds to shoot me a couple of times. He then kills me.

I asked him “Why are you shooting at me Russert?”

He replied: “Because you are a f4ggot.”

I have never seen this guy before, he just joined the game, and he called me a f4ggot. Well I didn’t even respond, because I was too busy playing the game. What he said however, began to fester inside me. So this idea hit me when I was in the shower!

I created a new account name and called it: KillTimRussert

Next I found the server he was playing on and proceeded to join. Just my luck, he was a squad leader. So I spawned right next to him. I would love to have seen the look on his face as he looked at me and saw “KillTimRussert” as my name. He stared at me for a couple of seconds and then shot me with his sniper rifle. My plan was working perfectly. Of course I punished him for the TK.

I spawned right next to him again and proceed to be the biggest pain in the arse that I know how to be. When he gets into a vehicle, I jump in front of it. When he gets into a helicopter, I jump on top of it. When he gets into a firefight, I jump right in front of his gun. As he runs around I constantly shoot right next to his head with my shotgun, never hitting him of course.

This guy likes to play sniper, so he wants to remain hidden right? Well I follow him to the top of every building, and when he goes prone, I stand up straight and proceed to fire off all my ammunition and draw as much attention as possible. He finally got banned from the server, and so I left him alone for the day.

Saturday 7-23. I wake up and I am going to play for a little while, but not without visiting my friend Tim, I log on as KillTimRussert, and find the server this wahoo is playing on. I would pay good money to see the look on his face as the text pops up in the bottom left of his screen: “KillTimRussert has joined your squad.”

As I spawn next to him, I find him lying prone on a hill waiting to snipe someone. I pull out my C4 packs and drop them all around him. He gets up and looks at me in disbelief. He stares at me for five seconds, probably thinking, “What the heck, how does this guy keep finding me?” He then drops two claymores right in front of me, and we both sit there for about 10 seconds. I jump as high as I can, which sets of the claymores, and earn him another teamkill. I push ‘page down’ to make him feel better.

My wife has been sitting next to me as I do this, and we are both laughing so hard that we are practically crying. I hand over the controls to me wife, who has never played, and she follows this guy everywhere. I wish I could see the look on people’s faces, as a guy named “TimRussert” is being chased by a guy who is bunny hopping after him named “KillTimRussert”. The best part is, everyone in the game thinks it is TimRussert who is the troublemaker. I always kill a few people and cap a few flags for points, and because of me; this guy always ends up with negative points.

I know this is juvenile, and I apologize to anyone who has had his or her team gaming experience ruined because of me. I have not laughed this hard for a while, as I follow this guy around annoying the crap out of him. My wife and I did this to Tim for twenty minutes, and we started laughing so hard we woke up our five-month old girl. It is hilarious. I do this for about 10 minutes a day and I plan on doing this until he apologizes for calling me a f4ggot.

It is a very nice stress relief.

Edit: July 26, 2005 - 7:00am. I think he is on to me. According to bf2tracker.com, his last online time was July 24. His score at that time was around 750. He is now at 1000 points today. Which means he was able to turn off the tracking system of his stats in regards to which server he is on. If you see him, tell him I said hi!

Edit: August 2, 2005 - 11:50am. KTR clan.

It seems a small clan has started. Here are the members and their Xfire names, so that we can meet up when Tim is online.
Clan name - Forum name - Xfire name

KillTimRussert - SPARTACUS - disabled
KillTimRussert2 - [LG]Cataclysm - unknown
KillTimRussert3 - Sir. Archer - archer2338
KillTimRussert11 - Hammer16 - unkown
KillTimRussert05 - Imaginary Turtle - sealhammer43
TimRussertKilla - Global Fear - None
Unlisted - American Pyro - americanpyro90

Note - If you are not listed here, post at the end of this thread and I will add your name. If your info is not correct let me know and I will change it ASAP.

Edit: August 3, 2005 - 2:20pm.

This picture was posted by [LG]Cataclysm - aka "KillTimRussert2"

I was eating a bowl of cheerios when I first saw this picture. The cheerios that were in my mouth, did not stay in my mouth as they were sprayed all over my computer desk when I laughed.

Everyone give [LG]Cataclysm a big salute!! Well Done!

http://www.totalbf2.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18799

Team XLink Moderator Joined: 21 May 2004 Posts: 1357

That is fuckin great. Laughing

Kai Spammer Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 8681

LMAO.

Kai Beginner Joined: 11 Jun 2005 Posts: 39

Kai Admirer Joined: 04 Jul 2006 Posts: 447

I played BF2 a little, was quite fun but found the people on there to be v.unforgiving of new players....
Some of my friend swear by it though, each to their own and all that.