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TPP27
Video Master
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 1815
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Posted:
Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:09 pm |
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fmylife.com
F mylife is a site where people post some of the most F ed up crap thats happened to them. examples,
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Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
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Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
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Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying" I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said he "I dont know what youre talking about Megan". My name isnt Megan, not even close. FML
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Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
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Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
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Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML |
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Lowbrassman04
Nintendo Specialist
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 1889
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:02 am |
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TPP27 wrote: |
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Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML |
these are hilarious. Some have to be fake tho. |
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DiNKy2012
Kai Beginner
Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Posts: 52
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Posted:
Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:51 am |
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fake or not...it's makes me feel better about my life |
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[1up]Tycoon5000
Kai Enthusiast
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 285
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Posted:
Mon Mar 23, 2009 4:29 am |
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Omg i love this site. I found out about it a couple weeks ago and its just great. |
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Dude04
Kai Beginner
Joined: 11 Feb 2009
Posts: 17
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Posted:
Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:36 pm |
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TPP27 wrote: |
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Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand...
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I don't think he's going to use that toothbrush again. |
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-Ricochet-
PSP Guru
Joined: 07 Apr 2007
Posts: 2405
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Posted:
Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:45 pm |
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FML DOT COM wrote: |
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. He chose to play Pokemon over sex with me. FML |
FAIL |
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Lowbrassman04
Nintendo Specialist
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 1889
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Posted:
Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:57 pm |
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-Ricochet- wrote: |
FML DOT COM wrote: |
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. He chose to play Pokemon over sex with me. FML |
FAIL |
I dont think ive ever heard sex and pokemon uttered in the same conversation before. |
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Award Winning Film Maker
http://www.youtube.com/cannon2004
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www.halfapplefilms.com |
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-SA-[TT]
Kai Lover
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 911
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Posted:
Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:44 am |
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Quote: |
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML |
i guess her mom was hot back then rofl |
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The Unexpected Can Always Be Expected[/color] |
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